The Voices
by Herondale25
Summary: A collection of short stories about Ben Solo, following events in his life before and after he became Kylo Ren.


**Part 1**

The Falcon

data-p-id=1ff263084421ff04ba5de4b7378c39ff,Han Solo kneels to the ground, starring at his son with an excited expression, only feeling a small amount of nerves.

data-p-id=906722f2b419e66967f3b826c2d8adfb,"You ready, kid?" He asks Ben. Who nods excitingly at his father, providing Han and Chewie a grin, his two front teeth missing.

data-p-id=f516159fc3382c5f6425e96ae437ebf2,"Remember, just do as I say, and you'll get it in no time." Han says, ruffling Ben's midnight black hair.

data-p-id=a3110d5368e8da9e68574314caf3701a,"I'm ready! I'm ready! I want to be a pilot just like you daddy!" Ben shouts, sending a mixture of pride and happiness through Han.

data-p-id=1ac203c30231bb2a5b1b5aba96b146c3,Han grins over his shoulder at Chewie. "Alright then buddy," He says, propping Ben up on his shoulder, carrying him into the Falcon. "First thing you need to know is how to close the door of the Falcon."

data-p-id=ed57dec9395511ffb457494462980b44,Han presses the square button on the side of the wall three times, with an amused expression as Ben's gaze follows the doors going up and down. "Here you try it now." He says, placing Ben down on the ground. He reaches onto the tips of his toes and is able to get it, for he is quite tall for a six-year-old.

data-p-id=1f22f069c92227d61a3b841c602ecc92,"Good job buddy! You did great!" Han cheers, giving his son a high five. He then leads his son over to the cockpit, with Chewie following close behind.

data-p-id=113e51c009e43f0c38194ca63814edaf,Han lets Ben walk on his own the whole way there, but once they reach the cockpit, he swoops down and grabs onto Ben, whisking him onto the pilot's seat in a fit of giggles.

data-p-id=008ee7068c8501084956058bbba86b7f,Han takes a seat in the copilot seat, beginning I explain the controls to Ben.

data-p-id=b56cb6b92656001fb136c8b63568b5e8,"You see this button here?" Han asks, pointing at a circular red button.

data-p-id=f16420a5160244bf2d7e816edd46111e,Ben nods. "Yep."

data-p-id=f31b18af33fb54d4a02c7ef64c97a46c,"That is the button to start the engine. Go on and press it."

data-p-id=d87767eb32a931464bae921b51387465,Ben does so, with a look full of pride at the sound of the engine's roar. Han shares the look of pride.

data-p-id=52724a99cf94a50d3ea63252b082ae10,"Now do you see this button here?" Han now points to a square black button.

data-p-id=57086fb97a29aafa597feed28431ff7d,Ben nods again. "Yep."

data-p-id=f8101b4fe0e6799ca99d1ae5236661ae,"That button turns the shields on, but only press it when someone is attacking you, if you always have it on you'll drain fuel."

data-p-id=4ebc3298e1d469f32224a15ba51c5a1b,Ben tells his father that that makes sense, while pursing his lips, which Han started to pick up on that that means he's processing information, or is thinking really hard.

data-p-id=78739df5b2e8d2ddbb1e431c49884be8,"Okay, now you see this long lever?"

data-p-id=783444292a77e87880768a35846caef6,"In the middle?"

data-p-id=98970046af1a4496e37b005810805085,"Yes. This is the lever to go to light speed, it makes traveling through different star systems much easier."

data-p-id=7e44e8e0e34f4c7073679d20a12e0508,Ben tilts his head at Han, then a wave of realization washes over his face. "That's the button that makes the stars turn into lines?"

data-p-id=ba4e081f95568f25cf2bf9fe9dab6a9c,Han let's out a small laugh, but nods. "Now for the fun part, you see the handles right in front of you?"

data-p-id=eb83026a5ed14f4fd606cf0f6bae8a23,Ben cautiously puts both his hands on the handles, his tiny fists grasping them tightly. "Aren't these the controls to move the ship?"

data-p-id=088c03346114c867216fc6d96ef15daf,"Yes, they are. Are you ready to try?" Han asks.

data-p-id=f0d5f6271f251ac598660d674c991ae7,Ben looks nervous and waited a while to reply before nodding.

data-p-id=1c8069bf75de3a5f2539a33d4026a740,Chewie, who had been standing at the entrance of the cockpit the whole time, added a negative comment towards Han.

data-p-id=605841eaa37dbb22e0bd2f026fa397ff,Han turns around in his seat. "What do you mean? Of course, he's ready. He'll be a natural."

data-p-id=cb833db513c67a5a72edcdec85368abc,Chewie places his paws on his hips. " _Grawwwww"_

data-p-id=a8e07c09e112e5da9b804c53f4e43b28,"Because he's my son, he was born a good pilot," he says, returning his attention to Ben. "Alright, now gently push the handles forward."

data-p-id=e33705a11b7ae1b0ffe3a21496a617e5,Ben does so or tries at least. Gently isn't the word Han would have used, they nearly crashed into the hanger door, making Han yank the handles back, causing them to abruptly stop seconds before hitting the door. This got a crude comment out of Chewie.

data-p-id=8fd7a16ff9eebbd02222da7135859e53,Ben gasped in his direction. "Uncle Chewie that isn't good language."

data-p-id=9976b9edd118627ddb3db3ae975ec99c,Chewie looks at Han for assistance, but Han shrugs. "You heard him, watch the language."

data-p-id=8b2da75984d875441a73e525e1531c20,This only makes Chewie roll his eyes.

data-p-id=f994de3eb90a7820caf43289a3c4433f,Han smiles at Ben, lightly ruffling his hair. "Okay, that was an example of what not to do. Here I'll show you how to do it." He says, then gently pushes the handles forward, so they lightly glide out of the hanger, towards the skies above.

data-p-id=bacfd4308d98045679df31d1441d2b68,"Okay Ben, so now that we are in the sky, it is okay to push the handles more. You got it?"

data-p-id=67fdc5697c6dc780cca33ae60d4e32be,Ben nods, watching Han's movements intently. Han watched Ben doing so out of the corner of his eye. Han could tell how much Ben looked up to him, how much he wanted to make him proud. It scared Han. Ben was so pure, so innocent. He didn't want to know how long it would be before Han let his son down.

data-p-id=f69eefca81498f30ea1f81564617750b,"Daddy?" Ben asks.

data-p-id=590d0681132fc73c123f8efce0689d7a,"Hmm?"

data-p-id=6394580654b0a80082aa19ad8cc74a37,"How did you get this ship in the first place? It is very big. Looks expensive." Ben says, as if really paying attention to the ship for the first time. Shocking pass times for a six-year-old.

data-p-id=d1815f08d44d29989c2fcc7a015d464e,"I won it from your Uncle Lando. In a card game." He says, smiling at the memory of that day, the feeling of sitting in the pilot seat for the first time as the captain of the ship, not the passenger.

data-p-id=fd3439457b894a90d32591332479c81c,"A game? Could you teach me how to play?" Ben asks his father.

data-p-id=76f529404fa0cf1378e31722385fef47,Han nods eagerly. "Son, throughout your life I will teach you all the essentials a man needs in life: hoe to fly a ship, how to play cards, how to pick a lock, and how to get in with the ladi—"

data-p-id=0af360215e56c018676ea1ae2467a10e,Chewie roars at Han, slapping his arm, saying that a six-year-old doesn't need to start learning the ways of becoming a lady's man.

data-p-id=d027a37003e979fdd87f6135cd3a2c1a,Han tells Ben to put his hands on the handles again, and Ben looks even more nervous than before. "Daddy I don't want to mess up again."

data-p-id=c4c4d246043c4011ef430c15bae8d0e6,"You won't, and I will be here the whole time. Just have faith," Han says, letting go of the controls. "Now, let's go back down to the hanger. Just gently twist the handle down. Gently."

data-p-id=4234c5c59c4197f6738a02153b7fecad,Ben nods, doing as instructed. This time he does push gently on the handle, marveling at the city of Chandrila below them.

data-p-id=52608a0aa3907d6c0adadcb555477d36,"Okay okay Ben pull up a bit. Yes, yes that's good. Now direct it towards the house."

data-p-id=f74322c91037d28c21b2877ed1b749c1,Ben nods again, not taking his eyes off the hanger. Ben pulls the handle back slightly, aligning the ship with the door, before slowly cruising in.

data-p-id=23fd77d93c0eebaa3dccbcaca46f8104,Han was amazed at what his son has done on his first time flying. Besides almost crashing and going painfully slow while parking in the hanger, he did great.

data-p-id=dc098bea35d64e072d9bff342caf6e77,Once they fully reach the ground. Han turns the engine off, then pulls Ben out of his seat and into a hug, ruffling his dark hair. "I am so proud of you kid, so so proud."

data-p-id=401fa22a184de13fc11b13025a617676,Ben connects his forehead with Han's before getting an even more excited look on his face. "Can we go tell Momma?"

data-p-id=bf91f12fd37cced6ae46e24c76480739,"Of course," Han says, balancing Ben on his side while the three of them walk off of the Falcon. "Though Leia already knows how great of a teacher I am."

data-p-id=9eb5db9fa19062610a5e83536ec55648,Chewie laughs loudly, before making a sarcastic comment at Han.

data-p-id=dbc73e4b258829994944254d0259134c,"No Chewie, I am not being cocky. It's not cockiness if your right and I happen to be right. I am a great teacher. And a great pilot," Han says to Chewie, before kissing Ben's head, who is starring absentmindedly at the ground. His expression was focused, like he was trying to hear something or someone. Nonetheless, Han returned his attention back to his best friend. "Just like this guy."

data-p-id=77bd9c349b5b79c72ac5e718e6c849ad,That was the one thing that Chewie did agree on. 

**Part 2**

The tree with flowers

data-p-id=34fae18dddd54268dc6cda4e2e8623dc,Ben Solo concentrates hard on the paper as he begins to write out his name for the fifth time. Calligraphy has always been a pass time for him, an escape, but at the current moment it wasn't doing anything for him.

data-p-id=6fb46575e97bac69cdf2afa824e39c38,His mind was on other things, like the fact that his father hadn't been home in two months. Or that he hasn't had a conversation with his mother in three days, due to her coming home from the Senate so late at night. Ben stays up until his mother finally comes home, hoping that maybe she might come in and see him, even to kiss him goodnight, but she never does.

data-p-id=6b28c87f9288e2b516f03a9acd59362e,His mind was also on something that compared to other things should not be that important, but to Ben it was: Jaileen Hummon.

data-p-id=7593ef327eec78103cdee3e0c12e4ff9,There she stands, under the giant tree in the middle of the park outside the school. Ben sits at a bench in between the two, his calligraphy set right in front of him. Jaileen is picking the flowers that have just started to bloom off of the tree, she is putting some of the smaller ones in her hair, the contrast of the pink flowers and her red hair look so beautiful it should be captured in a painting.

data-p-id=f282c075ca0e7f42e5f971c690bbe16c,Ben catches himself starring at her and returns his attention back on the ink dripping onto the pages in front of him. He begins to write down her name instead of his, imagining more than hoping that she would come up and say something to him. He wished anyone would come up and say something to him.

data-p-id=eed4413aaa7fbdc2801a3b18065831ea,Mrs. Kawer, the teacher of the school, shouts that it is time for everyone to come back inside from their break. All the other students, who play ball or run around, excitingly crowd back into the school room. I gather the papers, my set, and my ink together and hug them tightly to my chest, as if they were gold. A couple of students lag behind, one in particular, a boy named Yarin, walks closely to Ben.

data-p-id=aac28b55f2b7a4ac1308c4af11600e08,Ben tries to ignore him, but the next moment a foot appears in front of Ben, sending him crashing to the ground, his papers flying around him. The foot belonged to Yarin, who catches one of the flying papers in midair, then stares down mockingly at Ben.

data-p-id=ba8beeada1d12fecac40aa057433011e,"Looks like Solo has a crush." Yarin says, clearly trying to get a reaction out of Ben. Ben doesn't give him the satisfaction, making his face a stone mask, but on the inside, he felt trapped, like he was curled up into a ball.

data-p-id=176868ee2695539f840415ec4ecc014e,"Give me my paper back." Ben says, already having gathered up his other things.

data-p-id=d8bb505485d6874d281f2f13ebe46585,"Or what? You'll get your mother to come save you?" Yarin says, a proud smile on his face. "My father is beating her in the election. She doesn't stand a chance."

data-p-id=0a12d99a15c262ca44a4fc1935af834c,The restraint Ben had started to slip away, anger beginning to pour out of his mask. "Do not speak of my mother that way. If you do it again, I will make sure you-"

data-p-id=f7ad491caf13084befd36501fab81eae,"Oh good lord, Yarin, give the poor boy his paper back." A female voice says from behind him. It was Jaileen.

data-p-id=7853c567da46778d8034f36e23cd017c,Yarin looks panicked and embarrassed for a second, but then returns to his proud and arrogant façade. He turns to look at her and smiles. "Of course, I was just messing with him."

data-p-id=3456562bdd6f21fcb49abab296acaaf4,Yarin hands Ben the paper, which he snatches out of the bully's hand, glaring at him as Yarin returns into the school house.

data-p-id=906269032ca2d1110d0da100807ded82,Jaileen looks at Ben, a smile on her face. "I am sorry he was teasing you."

data-p-id=5e149ae006e9cd4d6e899438aeadabf3,Ben stares at her for a long moment, particularly at her unusually bright blue eyes, like glass. Ben blinks a few times, then shrugs. "I am used to it by now." Which was true. Ben sat alone during break time every day, writing with his calligraphy set. He was always picked last in group activities and no one ever wanted to be his friend. Whether it was because of his parents or not, Ben did not know, all he did know is that the older he has gotten, the more alone he has been.

data-p-id=12244309918bac0c51c224da2c845b08,Jaileen surely knew this, sense she never talked to him either. Of all the times Ben has imagined meeting Jaileen in his head, it wasn't this. He thought she would come over to him because she wanted to, not because she pitied him.

data-p-id=5eb7b3a0b969c959b96f323f5077277a,"I thank you for helping me with him, but I don't want your pity." He tells her, trying not to sound too sad or disappointed as he said it.

data-p-id=e7a3a1737cc207e60d171191f62851e5,Jaileen shook her head. "I would never offer you pity. I think you are a good person, quiet and distant, but good. Perhaps if you smiled more, people would want to talk to you more."

data-p-id=1afd326b8d18ec3e63be4e47e9112538,Ben's face fell more. "I have nothing to smile about."

data-p-id=08d3c3d651dbb40d80128b2ddc806249,Jaileen gave him a smile, this time it was more cheerful. "Life is filled with good and bad moments, sometimes you just have to make the good ones yourself when you are presented with too many bad." She says to him, pulling one of the flowers out of her hair, and handing it to him. She starts to move away from him, but stops briefly, and then winks at him.

data-p-id=0ab55d74b0ee471af911493bfd42eb77,Jaileen runs into the school house, with Ben slowly following behind, his cheeks flamed, and his mouth tilting up in the corners. Ben held onto the flower tight, and he kept that flower in his room for long after that. 

**Part 3**

data-p-id=99e4491bf92da6b6c953d0ecf163b8a4,An Empty House

data-p-id=6e600a9ede6835fbd24993a52713573a,Ben Solo starred at the wall of his bedroom for twenty minutes. It was Saturday, which meant he didn't have to go to school, but the day of the week meant nothing to his parents. Everyday meant one thing to them: work.

data-p-id=6fe4eda7d845b3023143e4f37527d764,Ben was often alone on weekends, he used to have a nanny droid that would look after him, but he was twelve years old now, much to old for things like that. He usually spent his weekends writing with his calligraphy set, it always calmed him and made him feel at peace.

data-p-id=b310bfacbe47c657d147a88421251b2a,But his father had been gone on a smuggling mission for going on four months, and his mother had barely been home in the past week. It seemed like nothing could distract him from those two facts; that his parents were busy, too busy for even their own son.

data-p-id=4dd72f70495b708f8e4843fc3fc266f7,Ben looked away from the wall and crawled on his hands and knees over to the trunk next to his bed, once he opened it, he searched for something to occupy his time. He found a small toy ship he was given for his fifth birthday, but he shoved that aside. He found a ball, a game, and a couple dolls.

data-p-id=8d5ea037f375aa43b5a1d7ac02f5d9b0,One doll in particular he remembered quite well. It was his eighth birthday and his Uncle Luke had gotten him a Jedi doll, it had a little robe on and a small green stick attached to its hand, clearly signifying a lightsaber. It was his favorite toy. He used to play with it all the time, dreaming of becoming a Jedi one day like his Uncle.

data-p-id=1566b6253570d0fbb1d546d8ce37e306,Then about a year later, Ben got into a fight at school. He could often control himself while he was there, since he had been teased and hurt almost every day his entire school life. But a boy named Kaylan went too far, called him a freak and broke his quill for his calligraphy set.

data-p-id=4f68a45f23bf192ea75fe5d628e747c1,He didn't remember much of what happened after that, only the teacher pulling him away from a bloody and bruised Kaylan. He remembered lying in his bed crying after that, with his parents talking just outside the door about how a darkness had been rising in him, he remembered how afraid they sounded.

data-p-id=e80256ad7708129c67af61703a895270,Ben doesn't know why he is teased so much, why he is called a freak and why no one wants to be his friend. Maybe they see something he didn't, because if your own parents are scared of you, the only explanation is that you must be some kind of monster.

data-p-id=e2c700d331a93728829e0f3890bd319f,He didn't play with that toy after that. Thinking a monster could never hope of becoming a Jedi.

data-p-id=8ab40cdab3b6f69ba4b9475bf0b43470,Ben sat there now and starred at the doll, remembering all the pain and torment he is succumbed to his whole life.

data-p-id=4b759b95ca56ae70aa173b172214d742,Ben placed the doll down on the floor, then dug into the trunk and retrieved the toy ship. He then sat down with his legs crossed and closed his eyes. Envisioning the doll being lifted into the air and placed gently on top of the toy ship, then the ship slowly gravitating in the air.

data-p-id=158297f3b4ee90f224ae91fc0c70d54d,Ben Solo opened his eyes and smiled, the ship and doll were indeed in the air, flying as if they were about to go off on some epic adventure.

data-p-id=bf8832d24de41810eba8923b50bc7084,Ben ran around his house with the ship and doll, making them both fly around him like he was a planet and they were orbiting around him.

data-p-id=ec672b0f112bdbfe6362349d2f3132ee,He stood on top of the counter and jumped off, letting the ship dive too as if falling down a massive cliff, only to pull up at the last second.

data-p-id=a32468d7363b8b8e71b56b72239f1a5f,For he first time in what felt like a life time, Ben Solo forgot that his parents weren't home, or how lonely and afraid he was. At that moment, with the Jedi doll and toy ship, he felt free.

data-p-id=986df1c94b60a0285b02e332c4d35260,Two days later he took that Jedi doll to school, it made the other kids laugh and snicker in his direction, but for the first time, it didn't bother him. Even as he sat there on a bench writing with his calligraphy set during break, alone as he usually was, he felt a surge of strength go through him.

data-p-id=e55e7a74a3ea69edbb5f7a8053f0d5d1,Even if the whole world thought he couldn't do it, thought he wasn't good enough, he would become a Jedi. He would prove everyone wrong, that he wasn't a monster. That he was a Jedi just like the doll before him.

 **Part 4**

Bonding  
Ben heard the familiar sound of engines turning off outside of his house on Chandrila. Ben knew what that meant, it meant his father was home. It was the same thing ever since he was born; He would watch as his father closed the door on the Falcon to him, leaving him for months at a time on some adventure, then would come back with the story of a lifetime. Not remembering the son he left behind.

data-p-id=9750ca43018201a3464d174a1522ec66,Ben didn't bother to meet his father at the garage anymore. He used to get so excited every time the Falcon made its reappearance. He was not a naive kid anymore, Ben Solo had just turned sixteen, and he had grown tired of his father's games.

data-p-id=e96671c7ee4150db2c0f187496c1c2c0,The door burst open revealing Han Solo carrying a large bin, with Chewbacca right behind him. Despite the anger Ben had towards his father, he held none of that anger towards Chewie. Ben strode over towards him, and gave him a hug, feeling Chewie's hairy arms wrap around him.

data-p-id=cedfe31dad7c35ad3b46c6ca6cda8c6e," _Rawwr Grrrrrrrrraar_." Chewie says starring down at Ben. _I missed you_.

data-p-id=92d1e82803a0ce0239debe2bf759f0db,Ben smiles up at Chewie. "So did I."

data-p-id=2ed73b4e726ab85fd0122f3df0ccc584,Ben gives Chewie one quicker hug before returning his attention to his father. Ham just set down the large bin, and walked towards his son, clasping his shoulder and giving him a smile.

data-p-id=912671e57decb00a75225450083a50d0,"How are you, Ben?" Han asks, putting his other hand gently on the side of Ben's face, but only for a few seconds.

data-p-id=45988b68f064f17070bb0c56dd8a69e9,"I am alright. Where have you been this time for the past seven months?"

data-p-id=e58fcdcecc61ec7ccf0f6a5b00aaa7ba,Han didn't seem to catch the sarcastic tone Ben had, but rather looked proud of himself, which he often did. "I was smuggling a shipment of fuel throughout the republic systems. Now if something were to happen they have all the fuel they need."

data-p-id=9bcac56824d194a92839d5ec74b86cb6,Ben only stares at his father, hating the face that he doesn't even seem bothered by his long absence, or how much his son missed him.

data-p-id=8ef044083caa572ff988a67cbc5edcb9,Ben's eyes move over to the side. "What's in the bin?"

data-p-id=122fe16622e01be53909ac8079c2e988,Han smiled at Ben again and made his way over to the bin, gesturing for him to follow, which he did. Han opened the bin to reveal rolled up scrolls of paper, perfect for his calligraphy set.

data-p-id=7a7b5356ca9f04bc1954c5db4d6e780d,Be couldn't help but smile down at it, even smiling at his father.

data-p-id=f530dd01ec9144cd75b0774e6549f572,"I missed your sixteenth birthday, and I am so sorry. But I thought this would be a good present." Han says.

data-p-id=d95eabe5ab298ac7a22a6345eb5a68f8,Ben had been so angry when his father hadn't been home for his birthday. His mom was home, it was probably the most she's been home in months. She had bought him a cake and had bought him a new quill for his calligraphy set.

data-p-id=fa655a26921a0f95d20cd6e1ce8d17b4,Ben smiled at his father, then excitedly picked up the bin and carried it into his room, setting it right next to his desk and placing a few of the scrolls on top of it, ready for him to write in later.

data-p-id=2a7e216510e9f8f0bc5172627a2a6e8a,Ben made his way back out to the common area, where Han and Chewie were both conversing on the couches. Ben sat down opposite his father, in which Han turned to his son. "When does your mother usually come home?"

data-p-id=2c9b150e12e3762fd6a41f7403786ce2,Ben repressed his sigh. "Not until late. How long will you be here this time?"

data-p-id=e738d982ca6c23cfc20d7bd96b0b31c7,Han looked at the floor, though Ben couldn't tell if his expression was in contemplation or guilt. "Just this week, then I'm helping your mother on a mission in the outer rim territories. Of course, she'll work from here to be with you."

data-p-id=20dba0f2e5f43cb88548ca490233fe1c,Yeah, she'll be here for him. Ben thought sarcastically to himself but didn't dare vocalize. Han tapped his foot a few times before standing up, gesturing for Ben to stand as well. "I have another present for you, kid." Han says, making his way to the door.

data-p-id=edee9017e0ebb37bc24b76c01180bfcb,Ben Solo followed his father, wondering two things; what could top the paper scrolls and why he feels the need to make up for his absence in presents. He did this every time he left. No item, no matter how much Ben liked it, could make up for his father being gone.

data-p-id=2201f69d49fd1955af7e6c98f4ad5fb7,The three of them made their way out to the garage, with Chewie placing his hand gently on Ben's back. When Han opened the door, all Ben saw was the Falcon, the thing he hated most in the world. But then he turned his attention to the left, to see a beautiful X-Wing fighter parked there. It had a new coat of black paint on it, and the windows seemed to be polished.

data-p-id=67bc9cf7358608a31a483769fd6351c2,Ben starred at it in awe, then Han leaned over and whispered in his ear. "A second birthday present." He pushed Ben lightly towards the ship, but Ben turned around in disbelief.

data-p-id=4aac540629b32d8ee2aba1671085cb46,"This is mine?" Ben asks, at a loss for words.

data-p-id=c2d02c160fdbe9ea8a67251a84d936e7,Han grins. "I think it is about time you get your own ship."

data-p-id=bd9f0c81491013f44a215e06b5821446,Ben without thinking ran into his father and hugged him, which he hadn't done since he was a child, but Han held onto Ben tightly for a moment then patted his back. "Go ahead," he says, pulling away from his son. "Take it for a spin."

data-p-id=7830b29259830b9ac31e286e84ff278b,Ben grinned the Solo grin at his father then ran over towards his ship, hopping into the cockpit. He smiled down at the controls in front of him, and he smiled once more at his father, standing proudly near the entrance of the garage.

data-p-id=08a99afe2eb57fcb188b70a406ed4737,This was one of the only bonding moments Ben and Han Solo ever had, but it was one that neither one of them forgot, especially Han. 

**Part 5**

data-p-id=f6a078d3a858e1b52ebc37c69055bc59,style=text-align:left;,Family Reunions  
This was a rare occasion where Ben, Leia, and Han Solo were all together for the day. Chewie was there as well, beside his best friend as he always was.

data-p-id=ff868a9489cee4692593e59e11fcbf98,style=text-align:left;,But even when the Solo family was together, Han and Leia were still doing some form of work, leaving Ben to the mercy of his own thoughts, something he was now accustomed to doing at age twenty.

data-p-id=f1d01d77b3e39c1be3aaa0d607c3208c,style=text-align:left;,Ben's attention was focused outside the window, where an unfamiliar X-Wing began to land in his family's garage. Ben looks curiously at the sight, but for some reason, chose not to tell his parents, and stays silent.

data-p-id=941842d8c5128ebbc9f2f3d244c4053d,style=text-align:left;,After a few minutes pass, the door of the house opens up, and the Solo family look towards who it is. The figure who walks in is a man, he wears a dark grey cloak, and as he pulls back his hood, Leia and Han Solo jump up from their seats in joy at the sight of their brother; Luke Skywalker.

data-p-id=edc6720cfde9d7d4b6db412b3bcae150,style=text-align:left;,Leia is instantly at her twin brother's side, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close and embracing him, to which he embraced her just as fiercely. When they finally pulled away from each other, and Leila's eyes were lined with tears, Han hugged his brother in law with just as much enthusiasm. It was only after the trio embraced and laughed several times did they remember Ben's existence.

data-p-id=49057f1f4632198313897ca4645c1bd0,style=text-align:left;,Luke made his way over to Ben, embracing him. Ben hugged his Uncle back, though he wasn't used to contact like this, especially from his Uncle, who he hasn't seen since he was ten years old.

data-p-id=a382c90673ed084c41ced408fc2e76fe,style=text-align:left;,His Luke pulls back and smiles at his nephew, looking him up and down. "Ben, look how much you have grown. Such a strong man you have become, you look so much like your father."

data-p-id=2fba6e4e321d063fd4b2f6c58b587dd3,style=text-align:left;,He smiled at him, knowing he meant resembling his father as a compliment.

data-p-id=f3995ef3df39cef2ea6558c780777ebd,style=text-align:left;,Leia made her way over to her son, lightly pulling back a strand of his black hair. "Ben would you give us a minute with your uncle?"

data-p-id=5a813b71d013de6f931eae3fc70c4cc6,style=text-align:left;,Ben nods to his mother, making his way into his room, to escape in the comforts of his writing.

data-p-id=e6594ccb7513314fa44ae4fc10555a3a,style=text-align:left;,Luke looked over at Chewie, giving him a hug as well. Chewie, though ecstatic to see his old friend, walked out of the room, saying he wanted to do preparations for Han and his trip the next day.

data-p-id=ad7a835503336df7bb9b0fcecddef79e,style=text-align:left;,Luke sat down on the couch with his family, knowing quite well why Leia asked him to come here.

data-p-id=05a21c8ca6819790248580d2e217e630,style=text-align:left;,"Leia," Luke said, his voice the vision of calm and collected. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

data-p-id=abef0fa96e3a8a75fe115fc4ea12a0ff,style=text-align:left;,Han looks between his wife and his brother in law, confusion written all over his face. "Do what?"

data-p-id=939bb833eb5b8e1277d561f1ec4e3f34,style=text-align:left;,Leia closed her eyes for a moment and released a quite sigh, knowing the reaction her husband will have. "I want Luke to take Ben to be trained as a Jedi."

data-p-id=a66963f5a5f6e1c079bdcdcfb113dd35,style=text-align:left;,Han's eyes grew wide, his head moving back and forth between the two of this, his mouth gaping open. "Why exactly?"

data-p-id=71b7ae1e8b4ae3adca84dc44db33108c,style=text-align:left;,"Because," Leia says, then lowers her volume to try to keep Ben from hearing. "You know of the darkness that has lurked in our son. Ever since he was a baby it has plagued him. Luke can help him. Can train him to control it."

data-p-id=fc98012e12c76389e7c649f692ef92c4,style=text-align:left;,Han closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands, knowing very well that no matter what he said there was no avoiding a decision Leia had already made. "I know he has," Han finally says, trying to keep his voice low as well. "I want him to be helped as much as you do but is this really best?"

data-p-id=45dc66dc7e2a871490140db31d355722,style=text-align:left;,Leia places a hand on her husband's knee, giving him a reassuring smile. "I believe it is."

data-p-id=fd7ded81c369f59be0572731ab73e3b0,style=text-align:left;,Both of them then looked at Luke, who gave them the same reassuring smile. "I promise I will look after him. I will protect him with my life."

data-p-id=865693d0e1bde6e25245cde8e77130ea,style=text-align:left;,The three of them then began to talk about less important things, catching up for lost time, acting as if no time at all had passed, and they were all just sitting in the Falcon on another adventure.

data-p-id=18a169ab4bd060cff1631536f165fc3f,style=text-align:left;,Though Leia, Han, and Luke tried their best to keep their voices down to spare Ben the news a bit longer, he sat there in his room, his quill still lying on his desk. He stared at the door of his bedroom, listening to his family discuss his departure. For the first time in six years, Ben Solo sheds a tear, knowing that his family had finally given up on him. 

**Part 6**

data-p-id=9e4b09809afacdb24120efc0f73fe890,Kylo Ren  
Ben Solo starred out at the massive army Supreme Leader Snoke has created. He watched the smile form of General Hux's face as they all saluted him, marching onto ships to begin their journeys defending the First Order.

data-p-id=9e6b6aaf97d7b86af9f3789cf9932477,Ben Solo didn't feel pride or triumph like Hux did in this moment, Ben felt nothing, as he did most days. He felt rage at many moments throughout the day, but no amount of time can take that anger away. Ben Solo felt trapped more than ever, though he never went by Ben Solo anymore.

data-p-id=07ce20e8972f4a03407be7039de8d378,He claimed Ben Solo was dead, told himself as much. But not really. Ben Solo was a broken boy, who has been locked in a cage his whole life, thought now there is a lock on the cage, and its name is Snoke.

data-p-id=a64a83e3d597e851baa90a5b319e0fed,Ben walked away from Hux, striding towards the elevator and starring at the polished black floor as the doors slide shut. Ben couldn't see very much out of his mask, which he wore most days, unless in his own chambers. The mask was more of a physical representation of the mask he kept over his whole self, and soon enough that would become abundantly clear.

data-p-id=e1d64133219be79c3df7a2bac71c218d,Ben stepped out of the elevator, to be greeted by two First Order officers, both becoming stiff at the sight of him.

data-p-id=fd7941a97ccf17f0f5446aafaa6157b3,Ben ignored them, walking to the side of him and continuing on down the hall. He pressed the button to enter his room, and entered, immediately shutting it behind him.

data-p-id=ff37f0df233389ff04a0c3c7e2ed95b5,Ben clicked the button on the side of his mask and took it off, breathing in a breath of fresh air he has desperately needed, it made him suffocate to be in that mask, though he had the same problem with it off.

data-p-id=5dde1e1233fa139e5063246cbb6bf3ea,He placed his mask on his bed, taking off his cape and his gloves, then throwing them on the bed as well. Ben shook out his black hair, taking a deep breath.

data-p-id=df11703213bdb29fd1695e529b005734,He began to stare at the wall, trying with every fiber of his being to not remember the days he spent starring at his bedroom wall at home on Chandrila. Nothing much has changed since those times of childhood innocence; instead of being alone in his home, he is alone on a giant metal ship.

data-p-id=0ff4c42c8b79cec4a4ab83f3a3b84545,Ben glanced over at the mask that sat on the table, the mask of his grandfather. He had admired, even idolized his grandfather for the power he possessed, thinking that a man like that could have stopped his own passed and pain and put it away, so far away that he could start a new life.

data-p-id=c7307ae248f0597d0e6f7f1c50dc1426,What Ben Solo hadn't learned yet is that he can't outrun himself, that all of this has been a facade, a game in which he is the main piece on the board, with a powerful player controlling his every move in order to win. Ben mistakes being a pawn for escape, but it is just another trap.

data-p-id=f70aa264b35e9c18bb403e7edad0fa74,Ben walked over to his window, and starred out at the stars, watching them twinkle and shine.

data-p-id=a4a7620985e7d4ad104f7ebafb7e11fc,Ben Solo has been a star, full of light and power, with endless possibilities. Now he was a falling star, cascading down further and further till his light is out. His light is himself, Ben Solo, his every expanding darkness is Kylo Ren. But the voices tell him that's a good thing, the voices say that he should keep falling till he hits the ground.

data-p-id=a58b2863f0cc0949468b4eac7869dc6f,The voices tell him to get back onto his feet once he stops falling, then to suck all the other stars down there with him.

data-p-id=1224b1461ea0fab7c1a3ecd092cb7e3a,Ben Solo releases a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. He walks back over to his bed, picking up his mask. He stares at it for a second, almost is contemplation, before he puts the mask back on. The voices taking over once again, moving him further across the playing board. 

**Part 7**

Defeated  
Ben Solo couldn't think, all he knew was that his face was burning, and that he had failed.

data-p-id=02a398c40b9a6590cfd82a39c82e205f,He looked over the ravine that has just appeared in the ground, to see the scavenger put his Uncle's lightsaber in her belt, then run towards the other direction, leaving him in the snow.

data-p-id=a0e510607bfb61905fd8e86a115538b2,He started to fall back onto the ground, his eyes fluttering open and close. He tries to stay conscious, tries to conjure enough strength to crawl to safety, because he knew the base was dying, that pretty soon it would be a speck of dust in the stars, and if he didn't get up soon, so would he.

data-p-id=b215becd772a15765fd0239f0e908381,He started to grab onto anything he could; branches, rocks, dirt, anything to help him pull himself. He couldn't bring himself to stand, his side was oozing blood out onto the pure white snow, his face at an even worse state.

data-p-id=59f76bf39138aecdc2eadeb927c68486,Ben Solo thought he was going to die. He had never felt so before, even on the battle field he felt like he had the protection of the force, that a million blasts could go towards him but never make their mark, as if he had a greater purpose he had to fulfill.

data-p-id=247467d79dcd6c36ef73ce5fcabf3167,He just hoped that purpose wasn't getting his ass kicked by a nineteen-year-old girl.

data-p-id=1939affca33eb7cb6c969df0f1aceb3a,The girl had surprised him, which not many people had the power to do. She was so burdened, so scared, yet she never gave into any of it, and kept fighting when she has nothing to fight for. Ben Solo admired that, but not for the reason he thought. He thought he admired her for the power she possesses, but he admired her because she reminded him of himself, or rather is true self.

data-p-id=121c86a3279e343cbe8a1f7c04abfcac,Ben didn't acknowledge this, but that didn't make it less true.

data-p-id=c7615f7788473377b0b9ab0043cd6470,He continued to crawl, finally passing by a fallen tree that had been a victim of the battle he and the girl just had. He pushed on it, wailing in agony as he finally pushed himself up, beginning to walk in the snowy woods.

data-p-id=32c9754a84a7410acd0df39d514741c1,A light appears in the sky, a twin pair, landing on the ground. A door opens to reveal General Hux and two stormtroopers, both walking swiftly towards him. Ben let out a sigh of relief at the blurry figures approaching him. He had never thought he would be so happy to see Hux, but he was.

data-p-id=23b831e35976cd9ece3e616bc8873ec1,The two stormtroopers grabbed onto his waist, the one trooper squeezing his blast wound, and he let out a small moan. The troopers helped him onto the ship, the Hux standing near the entrance, with his brooding look of disapproval on his face, which he always seemed to have.

data-p-id=0851474906cacdf736bd75f059232dd9,The doors of the ship closed, racing off towards the sky. The troopers set Ben down in a chair, his head leaning against the window. Ben opened his eyes wide enough to see the Star Killer Base turn into a ball of white light, before exploding with a force that would have swallowed them whole, but the ship flew through the stars, light speeding towards the rest of the first order.

data-p-id=3ecd529db391de8024717ff5ef100133,Ben Solo turned towards the pasty man in front of him, returning the glare he was being given. "Where are we going?" Ben asks, his voice scratchy and broken.

data-p-id=e9e61c48ab771b4405b88151b8097ef8,"To Supreme Leader Snoke's ship. We have the location of their base, we are going to snuff out the resistance once and for all." He says with a look of pride.

data-p-id=3bfd665e368982d3ddbbd089b8fd9f91,Hux has always had overconfidence in himself and the order, it would soon be his downfall.

data-p-id=b6e1fb15a64e6dc78fe56e1e71c5ee8f,Ben only nods at the general, starring out of the window, watching as the stars become still again, and the shadow of the Supremacy looms over him. 

**Part 8**

data-p-id=b234b5ff29002e6dc3c23aea96172fb8,The End of Conflict  
He watched as Rey disappeared from his sight, her reaction to something around her pulling her from the bond. Ben knew it was Luke, it had to be. He sat there starring at nothing, with his hand stretched out, feeling something, he has never felt before, or towards anyone; worry.

data-p-id=7d129f56febb91f583565f0a2f539a44,Ben Solo didn't know what was happening. He had been curious about this bond he had formed with Rey, though the origins of the force connection were still unknown to him. He didn't know why he was so fascinated by her. He had never met anyone who made him feel guilty or made him want to show a different side of him. One that had been buried for what seems like forever.

data-p-id=70c93a5b3879d308ece895b91f323e96,Every time Ben saw Rey, he saw a part of himself that he thought long gone. Rey had been just as lonely as he was, still is. But she chose to fight for the light, even though she had nothing. He envied that. Though Ben Solo still did not know he has been used as a puppet since his birth, which in different circumstances, could have easily happened to Rey.

data-p-id=5527d43fb7d794c2614c3b9c3cfe0ec0,Ben recoiled his hand and placed it on his lap, still feeling the warmth of her touch, that feeling coursing through his whole body, even making him smile to himself. Ben hadn't smiled in eight years.

data-p-id=ddc3a8597efe3445b0599b8051e533ee,Ben couldn't stop thinking about what he had saw when they touched. He had been standing in the Jakku desert, watching a young couple just feet from him. The woman was tall, flowing brown hair, and when she briefly turned towards him, he had seen lively brown eyes, just like the ones he had come to care for. The man was just as tall, with brown hair as well, but much darker, his shoulders broad and skin tanned from the sun.

data-p-id=0fae7febb1394f1dc0f95f2e2b2c7352,The woman kneeled down to a little girl, looking like a small version of herself, only with three small buns in her hair. He had instantly known that was Rey, and that fact made him feel more pain for her and anger towards them. The couple packed three large containers of water into their ship, giving small Rey over to a large pink creature, who grabbed onto Rey as if she was a piece of merchandise. The ship took off, with Rey screaming after it. The next thing he saw are two gravestones, side by side, with the hot sand blowing over it.

data-p-id=8417b64f9a44e9264203fcc8280b68cc,The last time Ben Solo had cried was when his parents sent him away with Uncle Luke, and he felt no shame that he cried for Rey. There had been a time when he thought no one could ever feel as alone as he felt, but then he met Rey.

data-p-id=7840954f7557eab9be926c02d272fa25,When she had come to him, her whole body shivering from being wet and her face stripped of all hope, he had become, for the first time in a long time, Ben Solo once more. She had grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself, then she broke down, telling him the whole story. Ben had felt a weird sense of happiness at the fact that she confided in him, but an overpowering feeling of sorrow as she talked of how alone she felt.

data-p-id=aa4b839097a3232087a0581c61e95524,He had then told her something that he wish someone had told him long ago, that she wasn't alone, and he meant it. What shocked him most was that she said that he wasn't either.

data-p-id=c198c5928e3b1938e1e7a5a950c97083,That was the moment Rey became the only person Ben Solo had ever truly cared about, though he did care for his parents deeply, but he will not admit that anytime soon.

data-p-id=8e976dbb284f35f6c69a69d787351690,Ben paced around his room, thinking of what was going to happen next, because now he wasn't in a daze, he was actually concerned.

data-p-id=84329c83a8ae390506adac74659c2ca0,A sudden feeling went through him, the force calling out to him, and he eagerly reached out, listening.

data-p-id=41dddad9f622c76548a5c1322caca9e9,She was coming. He knew it deep in his bones. He felt a surge of relief, happiness, and worry all at once, something that he would definitely need to get used to.

data-p-id=a1ca018b051f7863000c157dd814bf87,He didn't know what was to come, but he did know one thing; he was going to kill Snoke, and that he was going to keep Rey safe.

 **Part 9**

Not a Victory  
He watched as Rey shut the door to the Falcon, just as his father had done his entire life. As those brown eyes disappeared from his view, Ben Solo flinched. He looked down at the dice in his hands, the dice he had played with as a child, something Han gave to him every time he went away, so Ben would have a piece of him.

data-p-id=8b5efa934114b55e0ef6c3ae3d97da2b,Han had put those dice back in the Falcon when Ben turned to the dark side, to keep a piece of his son with him.

data-p-id=fc816987c3a9f81ccf126ccb0abdb2ce,The dice disappeared in his hand, leaving Ben clenching his fists, and bowing his head, feeling the greatest surge of regret he has ever felt.

data-p-id=2c0396f1b41b1f6422c58c516f424a99,What Ben Solo didn't realize is that he had abandoned her. She saw the light in him, saw the conflict, and believed in him, gave him hope. She had offered him a place with her, saying he could still come back. Ben wanted to, and he knew that, but he didn't know how much.

data-p-id=3a6dc3f0c1ad86d482a0eae5e25729fa,He had almost accepted, but then he realized that she was the only one who wanted him there, that for the rest of his life everyone would hate him and wish his death. He thought he would be all alone again, and it terrified him.

data-p-id=d525f99a203e7e56a6296e4668139399,So he took the easy way out, asking her, begging her to join him. He knew she wouldn't accept it, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she had. But all he knew is that he needed her, and he didn't think he cared about whether it was both of them on the light or the dark side.

data-p-id=90ebc46e19b5c66385f26826f6304f0f,He did though. As Ben Solo sat there in the Resistance Base on Crait, he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

data-p-id=d5d099f321fe92d29f1675b968d6ebf9,His whole life he had been controlled by the voices that told him what to do, that manipulated him and drove him to such an extreme sorrow, that all he wanted to do was put it all behind him. But she had driven the sorrow out, all he had needed was someone to believe in him, which he had never had before. But his cowardice ruined his chances.

data-p-id=faef68a1a6db2b2c8220e06815600ecc,Ben Solo for the first time in his life was free, no voices or pain holding him back, except two; his guilt and her.

data-p-id=8855f82d565c8a6a635662dda340d8ed,Now that his mind was his own. He regretted everything. Everything he thought would bring him freedom, all the dark deeds he did have just replaced his sorrow with guilt.

data-p-id=4afef4d15556478f99cd7b896e315595,He didn't know if he was worth forgiving, he didn't know if he could forgive himself. But he did know one thing, that he was willing to try being worthy of forgiveness. For her, for him, and for his family.

data-p-id=c6e544f5cefee44c49d57d1a7c6b58ca,His whole life the voices had plagued him, but now he was free. But like always, there is still chaos around him, but now Ben Solo will do something about it.

 **Part 10**

The Monster Under the Mask  
There have been very few times Ben Solo has felt any sort of regret or guilt, especially since he became Kylo Ren.

data-p-id=f442d88545312bab18bdc5b15e6c421c,He stood there racked with a pain so fierce he thought it might swallow him whole.

data-p-id=e97d340ec23d7a911732ec43bc77f3f0,Han Solo stood in front of him, his face full of shock and sorrow as Ben ripped his lightsaber from his father's body. Han lightly touched his face, and Ben was left starring into his father's eyes in surprise.

data-p-id=4d3d31a48ee048a784582f85f2fef2c3,Han Solo, the famous hero and smuggler didn't have any final words, he used his last breaths to touch his only child's face.

data-p-id=9914baff9f8eee19bb8853e89eef2ca4,Ben watched as Han fell to the side, cascading down into the depths of the base.

data-p-id=ff5db1c108efbda3d98e58167778d19f,Ben couldn't help the tears that sprang into his eyes, or the sinking feeling he felt in his chest, like something was taken from him.

data-p-id=44b68cad4e8e804b925bf4eb3c52cea6,He heard a loud familiar roar, looking up only in time to see Chewbacca shoot a blast in his direction. Ben was caught off guard and only managed to redirect the bullet, so it didn't strike his heart, but when it made its mark it still hurt.

data-p-id=86b5b15d2113f39e8c0eefaf4b1339eb,What hurt more is that Chewbacca was the one who shot him. He deserved it, and he knew it.

data-p-id=13083368b6fb6f30f10d6948f80901fb,Snoke has sensed the light in him, he had known it was there all along, just hidden under his own manipulated thoughts. He thought that killing his father, his own family would secure his position in the dark. He was wrong, it only catapulted him further towards it.

data-p-id=6efbdaa55b592c420319799f0392a68b,Ben watched as the girl and FN-2187 made their way out of the room, running towards the forest, with Chewie nowhere in sight.

data-p-id=bd121d996b3a2c73ec0d83c6dfd8dcac,Ben, blinded by his own rage and torment, ran after the two rebels, hoping to find something to distract him from the dark deed he just enacted.

data-p-id=8a7ab20ec0ab3262ce329c7dcb399a4e,style=text-align:center;,***

data-p-id=e7854ba668167f7013e28b9d525bd4d9,style=text-align:left;,The map  
Ben Solo boarded his ship, his mind on one thing; his uncle. He fought every day to not think of his family, though the act was nearly impossible. He often dreamt of his mother, had nightmares about being alone at home again, and often woke thinking he would see his uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber.

data-p-id=a7a2e4a465260043cde2f8d9625b9f0b,Ben watched as the doors of the ship closed, four troopers standing there with him: WD-256, SI-39, BE-555, and HL-227. They were the usual troopers to accompany him on assignments involving the troopers, he was only followed by his knights on special missions from Snoke.

data-p-id=c7ec33ffe5a4ac858d0c7b91d3758008,He never admitted that he missed the Knights of Ren when they weren't there. They knew him better than anyone else did, they had fought and trained together, a team till the end.

data-p-id=ba56981a8bba3bef603deb83a32ff84c,Ben Solo wanted his companions to be there, since this mission was about capturing the map leading straight to Luke.

data-p-id=d1a2ea5c2b3425decbbf65e115a88c9b,He had thought him dead. When Snoke called him into his throne room to inform him of his wellbeing, he had left straight for him room, getting sick to his stomach.

data-p-id=66c960e8c34752842eece012ee3c2fdc,He had told Ben that the man who had the plans was someone from his past: Lor San Tekka.

data-p-id=e69aaa0bf195261d7c05c5deae8df3c5,He was close friends with his mother and had seen him pretty much every year since he was born. He hasn't seen anyone from his former life, and he didn't know what to expect.

data-p-id=b80d66f0eacadb2a926c5602f7ca15d8,He didn't know how he would feel if someone recalled something from his past, or how he would react if someone called him by his true name.

data-p-id=d74662f845d2072d51b9ec862e59d595,He didn't know if he would scream in rage or fall to his knees like a child.

data-p-id=8f8910db225853e16623a08e5470f9dd,Snoke has said that something big was about to happen, and he felt it too. Ben Solo knew he would have to face his past whether he wanted to or not.

data-p-id=469f5f96ed1300cfd57ca3462b3caf8c,The door to the ship opened again, revealing the deserts of Jakku, and the open door to his past. An open door to Ben Solo. 


End file.
